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GCSE English Language · Edexcel style · Paper 2 Section A, Question 3 style
Edexcel Paper 2 Question 3 style (15 marks, AO2) (Notes on Nursing)
AO215 marks · about 20 minutes

Read the whole extract from Notes on Nursing by Florence Nightingale. Analyse how the writer uses language and structure to interest and engage the reader. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. [15 marks]

Read the extract, then write below it.
The very first canon of nursing, the first and the last thing upon which a nurse's attention must be fixed, the first essential to the patient, without which all the rest you can do for him is as nothing, with which I had almost said you may leave all the rest alone, is this: TO KEEP THE AIR HE BREATHES AS PURE AS THE EXTERNAL AIR, WITHOUT CHILLING HIM. Yet what is so little attended to? Even where it is thought of at all, the most extraordinary misconceptions reign about it. Even in admitting air into the patient's room or ward, few people ever think, where that air comes from. It may come from a corridor into which other wards are ventilated, from a hall, always unaired, always full of the fumes of gas, dinner, of various kinds of mustiness; from an underground kitchen, sink, washhouse, water-closet, or even, as I myself have had sorrowful experience, from open sewers loaded with filth; and with this the patient's room or ward is aired, as it is called--poisoned, it should rather be said. Always air from the air without, and that, too, through those windows, through which the air comes freshest. From a closed court, especially if the wind do not blow that way, air may come as stagnant as any from a hall or corridor. Again, a thing I have often seen both in private houses and institutions. A room remains uninhabited; the fire place is carefully fastened up with a board; the windows are never opened; probably the shutters are kept always shut; perhaps some kind of stores are kept in the room; no breath of fresh air can by possibility enter into that room, nor any ray of sun. The air is as stagnant, musty, and corrupt as it can by possibility be made. It is quite ripe to breed small-pox, scarlet fever, diphtheria, or anything else you please.[2] Yet the nursery, ward, or sick room adjoining will positively be aired (?) by having the door opened into that room. Or children will be put into that room, without previous preparation, to sleep. A short time ago a man walked into a back-kitchen in Queen square, and cut the throat of a poor consumptive creature, sitting by the fire. The murderer did not deny the act, but simply said, "It's all right." Of course he was mad. But in our case, the extraordinary thing is that the victim says, "It's all right," and that we are not mad. Yet, although we "nose" the murderers, in the musty unaired unsunned room, the scarlet fever which is behind the door, or the fever and hospital gangrene which are stalking among the crowded beds of a hospital ward, we say, "It's all right."
Source: Florence Nightingale, Notes on Nursing (1860). Public domain.
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How this is marked

AO2 (published assessment objective): Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views (English). For Geography: demonstrate geographical understanding of concepts and how they are used in relation to places, environments and processes, and the interrelationships between places, environments and processes. For History: explain and analyse historical events and periods studied using second-order historical concepts.

Assessed against AO2 using Revision Robin's own level descriptors below. These are not the exam board's mark scheme. Every quotation in the feedback is checked against your answer and the extract before you see it, and a teacher's mark overrides ours.

Level 4 · 12 to 15Perceptive, detailed analysis. Explains precisely how specific word choices, techniques or structural features shape the reader's response; quotations are apt and well chosen; terminology is accurate and sharpens the point rather than decorating it.
Level 3 · 9 to 11Clear, relevant explanation of effects. Quotations are relevant and mostly well chosen; terminology is accurate; the answer explains effect rather than only naming features.
Level 2 · 5 to 8Some understanding of effects. Attempts to comment on effect, often in general terms; some relevant quotation; terminology sometimes used, sometimes inaccurately.
Level 1 · 1 to 4Simple awareness. Mostly paraphrase or retelling; little or no quotation; features named without explanation of effect.