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GCSE English Language · Edexcel style · Paper 2 Section A, Question 3 style
Edexcel Paper 2 Question 3 style (15 marks, AO2) (A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains)
AO215 marks · about 20 minutes

In this extract, Isabella Bird describes arriving at Lake Tahoe and the journey that brought her there. Analyse how the writer uses language and structure to interest and engage the reader. Support your views with detailed reference to the text. [15 marks]

Read the extract, then write below it.
I have found a dream of beauty at which one might look all one's life and sigh. Not lovable, like the Sandwich Islands, but beautiful in its own way! A strictly North American beauty--snow-splotched mountains, huge pines, red-woods, sugar pines, silver spruce; a crystalline atmosphere, waves of the richest color; and a pine-hung lake which mirrors all beauty on its surface. Lake Tahoe is before me, a sheet of water twenty-two miles long by ten broad, and in some places 1,700 feet deep. It lies at a height of 6,000 feet, and the snow-crowned summits which wall it in are from 8,000 to 11,000 feet in altitude. The air is keen and elastic. There is no sound but the distant and slightly musical ring of the lumberer's axe. It is a weariness to go back, even in thought, to the clang of San Francisco, which I left in its cold morning fog early yesterday, driving to the Oakland ferry through streets with side-walks heaped with thousands of cantaloupe and water-melons, tomatoes, cucumbers, squashes, pears, grapes, peaches, apricots--all of startling size as compared with any I ever saw before. Other streets were piled with sacks of flour, left out all night, owing to the security from rain at this season. I pass hastily over the early part of the journey, the crossing the bay in a fog as chill as November, the number of "lunch baskets," which gave the car the look of conveying a great picnic party, the last view of the Pacific, on which I had looked for nearly a year, the fierce sunshine and brilliant sky inland, the look of long RAINLESSNESS, which one may not call drought, the valleys with sides crimson with the poison oak, the dusty vineyards, with great purple clusters thick among the leaves, and between the vines great dusty melons lying on the dusty earth. From off the boundless harvest fields the grain was carried in June, and it is now stacked in sacks along the track, awaiting freightage. California is a "land flowing with milk and honey." The barns are bursting with fullness. In the dusty orchards the apple and pear branches are supported, that they may not break down under the weight of fruit; melons, tomatoes, and squashes of gigantic size lie almost unheeded on the ground; fat cattle, gorged almost to repletion, shade themselves under the oaks; superb "red" horses shine, not with grooming, but with condition; and thriving farms everywhere show on what a solid basis the prosperity of the "Golden State" is founded. Very uninviting, however rich, was the blazing Sacramento Valley, and very repulsive the city of Sacramento, which, at a distance of 125 miles from the Pacific, has an elevation of only thirty feet. The mercury stood at 103 degrees in the shade, and the fine white dust was stifling.
Source: Isabella Bird, A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains (1879). Public domain.
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How this is marked

AO2 (published assessment objective): Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views (English). For Geography: demonstrate geographical understanding of concepts and how they are used in relation to places, environments and processes, and the interrelationships between places, environments and processes. For History: explain and analyse historical events and periods studied using second-order historical concepts.

Assessed against AO2 using Revision Robin's own level descriptors below. These are not the exam board's mark scheme. Every quotation in the feedback is checked against your answer and the extract before you see it, and a teacher's mark overrides ours.

Level 4 · 12 to 15Perceptive, detailed analysis. Explains precisely how specific word choices, techniques or structural features shape the reader's response; quotations are apt and well chosen; terminology is accurate and sharpens the point rather than decorating it.
Level 3 · 9 to 11Clear, relevant explanation of effects. Quotations are relevant and mostly well chosen; terminology is accurate; the answer explains effect rather than only naming features.
Level 2 · 5 to 8Some understanding of effects. Attempts to comment on effect, often in general terms; some relevant quotation; terminology sometimes used, sometimes inaccurately.
Level 1 · 1 to 4Simple awareness. Mostly paraphrase or retelling; little or no quotation; features named without explanation of effect.