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GCSE English Language · AQA style · Paper 1 Section A, Question 2 style
Language Used to Describe Count Dracula's First Appearance (Dracula)
AO28 marks · about 12 minutes

Look in detail at this section of the source, from 'Within, stood a tall old man' to 'more like the hand of a dead than a living man.' How does the writer use language here to describe Count Dracula? You could include the writer's choice of words and phrases, language features and techniques, sentence forms.

Read the extract, then write below it.
Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere. He held in his hand an antique silver lamp, in which the flame burned without chimney or globe of any kind, throwing long quivering shadows as it flickered in the draught of the open door. The old man motioned me in with his right hand with a courtly gesture, saying in excellent English, but with a strange intonation:-- “Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own will!” He made no motion of stepping to meet me, but stood like a statue, as though his gesture of welcome had fixed him into stone. The instant, however, that I had stepped over the threshold, he moved impulsively forward, and holding out his hand grasped mine with a strength which made me wince, an effect which was not lessened by the fact that it seemed as cold as ice--more like the hand of a dead than a living man. Again he said:-- “Welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring!” The strength of the handshake was so much akin to that which I had noticed in the driver, whose face I had not seen, that for a moment I doubted if it were not the same person to whom I was speaking; so to make sure, I said interrogatively:-- “Count Dracula?” He bowed in a courtly way as he replied:-- “I am Dracula; and I bid you welcome, Mr. Harker, to my house. Come in; the night air is chill, and you must need to eat and rest.” As he was speaking, he put the lamp on a bracket on the wall, and stepping out, took my luggage; he had carried it in before I could forestall him. I protested but he insisted:-- “Nay, sir, you are my guest. It is late, and my people are not available. Let me see to your comfort myself.” He insisted on carrying my traps along the passage, and then up a great winding stair, and along another great passage, on whose stone floor our steps rang heavily. At the end of this he threw open a heavy door, and I rejoiced to see within a well-lit room in which a table was spread for supper, and on whose mighty hearth a great fire of logs, freshly replenished, flamed and flared. The Count halted, putting down my bags, closed the door, and crossing the room, opened another door, which led into a small octagonal room lit by a single lamp, and seemingly without a window of any sort. Passing through this, he opened another door, and motioned me to enter. It was a welcome sight; for here was a great bedroom well lighted and warmed with another log fire,--also added to but lately, for the top logs were fresh--which sent a hollow roar up the wide chimney. The Count himself left my luggage inside and withdrew, saying, before he closed the door:--
Source: Bram Stoker, Dracula (1897). Public domain.
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How this is marked

AO2 (published assessment objective): Explain, comment on and analyse how writers use language and structure to achieve effects and influence readers, using relevant subject terminology to support their views (English). For Geography: demonstrate geographical understanding of concepts and how they are used in relation to places, environments and processes, and the interrelationships between places, environments and processes. For History: explain and analyse historical events and periods studied using second-order historical concepts.

Assessed against AO2 using Revision Robin's own level descriptors below. These are not the exam board's mark scheme. Every quotation in the feedback is checked against your answer and the extract before you see it, and a teacher's mark overrides ours.

Level 4 · 7 to 8Perceptive, detailed analysis. Explains precisely how specific word choices, techniques or structural features shape the reader's response; quotations are apt and well chosen; terminology is accurate and sharpens the point rather than decorating it.
Level 3 · 5 to 6Clear, relevant explanation of effects. Quotations are relevant and mostly well chosen; terminology is accurate; the answer explains effect rather than only naming features.
Level 2 · 3 to 4Some understanding of effects. Attempts to comment on effect, often in general terms; some relevant quotation; terminology sometimes used, sometimes inaccurately.
Level 1 · 1 to 2Simple awareness. Mostly paraphrase or retelling; little or no quotation; features named without explanation of effect.